Danuta Borecka-Biernat Avoidant coping strategy in youth in situations of social conflict in the context of modelling influence of the parents

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Introduction

The situation of a conflict with another person is considered to be one of the basic social situations in the life of each of us. The possibility of an interpersonal conflict occurs wherever there are interactions between people. It is impossible to protect yourself from it because it is a phenomenon which is caused by mutual cooperation of people, each of whom has different and individual features of character as well as predispositions and skills (Balawajder, 2010). The word ‘conflict’ means a contradiction of interests or views, a collision, incompatibility, dispute, or quarrel (Borkowski, 2003; Siuta, 2009). As it can be seen, the basis for the occurrence of interpersonal conflicts is a contradiction, inconsistency, discrepancy regarding goals, views, attitudes, interests, values as well as tendencies or motives, aspirations, desires which may occur between individuals or groups of individuals (Tyrna-Łój, 2002; Wojciszke, 2007). Thus, a conflict constitutes an inevitable product of civilization because the goals and needs of individuals often collide with the goals and needs of others, therefore, we should adopt the view that the occurrence of conflict phenomena in the human environment is natural.

Adolescents in a social conflict situation

Interpersonal conflicts affect people of all ages and in different environments. Adults usually underestimate the number of hard situations young people have to face every day. The period of puberty and adolescence is a difficult but important period in a young human’s life which is filled with crises and conflicts. Adolescence (Latin adolescere) means growing towards adulthood. This stage of a young person’s life is characterized by an intensive biological, mental, and social growth process (Obuchowska, 2000; Bee, 2004; Trempała, 2011; Czerwińska-Jasiewicz, 2015; Brzezińska, Apelit, Ziółkowska, 2016). It exists in several environments, i.e. at school, in a school class, in a youth group or in family. The possibility of a conflict may occur in any sphere. Social contacts show conflicts with teachers, quarrels with schoolmates and arguments with parents as well as with other family members (Kobus-Reyes, 2000; Lohman, Jarvis, 2000; Smetana, Daddis, 2002; Polak, 2010; Gurba, 2020). The conflict taking place on these three social grounds is an integral part of a young person’s life. It is common and cannot be avoided.

A school conflict is interpreted as a clash of contradictory or incompatible behaviors of teachers and students as well as among students themselves, which results from the process of teaching and upbringing at school (Tyszkowa, 1986). M. Gawryś (2002), J. Różańska-Kowal (2004), B. Stańkowski (2009), K. Polak (2010) researched school conflict situations of students in the period of adolescence. These were disagreements with teachers and peers from the school class. 42% of the described school conflicts were conflicts with teachers (Przygońska, 1999). Students consider this type of conflict as an inevitable part of the character of school life and describe it as ‘eternal’ or ‘generational’ (Bielawska, 1995). The most controversial situations in the student-teacher relationship are school grades, tactless behavior of teachers as well as the imperious pressure and rigidity of teacher requirements. It is worth emphasizing that conflicts between students and teachers are difficult situations for students but unfortunately they are of little significance for teachers who most often do not notice them or minimize and ignore them (Plewicka, 1977). The longer students stay at school, the frequency of disputes in the student-teacher relationship increases.

Conflicts constitute an inevitable element of each community, including the school class. The results of the research by D. Bielawska (1995) showed that 28% of the interviewed young people observed conflict situations between groups of students, whereas conflicts between individual students were noticed by 34% of them. Their main reasons were provocations, making fun of others, unfair accusations, slander, betrayal, indiscretion, competition for grades, competition for favor of the opposite sex, efforts for group leadership, competition for class leadership, class leader status, sport prestige or lack of good manners in behavior. It is worth noticing that peer conflicts, despite a strong emotional load, are short-lived, while the frequency of disputes decreases as students stay at school (Plewicka, 1977). This does not mean that arguments with peers are a marginal phenomenon in the student’s school environment.

Conflicts are an inseparable element of the functioning of every social group, including the family as a community of people who are especially close to each other, where conflicts are an expression of the contradictory needs of individual family members. One of the specific types of antagonisms in the family is the inter-generational conflict which is defined as a generation gap resulting from differences between the younger and the older generations (Rostowska, Rostowski, 2000). The family with an adolescent child is on the verge of serious changes and conflicts (Czerwińska-Jasiewicz, 2015; Brzezińska, Apelit, Ziółkowska, 2016; Gurba, 2020). The reason for conflicts with family members is the young human’s need to have his/her own way. Adolescents are formed in the sphere of constant conflicts between what they want and what their parents expect from them. Many of these conflicts concern everyday situations, i.e. differences in opinions and tastes, e.g. in matters related to clothing, music, watching TV, using a computer, performing school duties, spending received pocket money, housework, contacts with peers, ways of spending free time, times of going out and coming back home (Jaworski, 2000; Riesch et al., 2000; Rostowska, 2001; Sikorski, 2010; Garstka, 2011; Gurba, 2020). Moreover, conflicts experienced by adolescents and also those occurring in families result from the intense striving of adolescent girls and boys for independence, which is not always properly understood by them and from their changing attitudes towards their parents, i.e. characterized by criticism and weakening of authority (Smetana, Daddis, 2002; Trylińsk-Tekielska, 2007; Laird, Marrero, 2011; Czerwińska-Jasiewicz, 2015). According to C. Matusewicz (1997), disagreements and conflicts with mother and father, occur in about 55–65% of the population of primary and secondary school students, however, boys come into conflict more easily than girls. 40% of family conflicts are of high intensity. The research by B. Laursen (1990 from Collins, Laursen, 1992) showed that on average adolescents report seven conflicts a day. Most conflicts concern mothers, then siblings, friends, romantic partners, fathers as well as other peers and adults.

Summing up, it is difficult not to notice that a young person who creates and implements certain life plans is exposed to conflict situations related to school, contacts with peers and family relationships. Conflicts with teachers, peers and parents constitute an important source of emotional tension and personal danger for some young people. It is obvious that in the case of young people threats cause many behaviors which constitute messages, from the perspective of their expectations and needs, pertaining to the current situation they are in and whether it has the features of a difficult situation or not.

The avoidance strategy for coping with a social conflict situation by adolescents

Adolescence is a period in which young people experience various, often contradictory, aspirations and have to deal with inconsistent social expectations directed towards them. The activity which a young person undertakes in complex circumstances is considered in a specific situational context as strategies for coping with a current difficult situation (Wrześniewski, 1996; Heszen-Niejodek, 2000). This results in the fact that what an individual does in all difficult situations responding to changing conditions in order to deal with a specific situation in a spontaneous and previously unplanned manner is called a strategy. Thus, a strategy is a method to achieve a goal in a specific situation.

The ability to cope with a social situation considered to be a conflict adopts action strategies of destructive and constructive characters (Donaldson et al., 2000; Williams, McGillicuddy-De Lisi, 2000; Rostowska, 2001; Tezer, Demir, 2001; Deutsch, 2005; Owens, Daly, Slee, 2005; De Wied, Branje, Meeus, 2007; Eschenbeck, Kohlmann, Lohaus, 2007; Krok, 2007; Kłusek-Wojciszke, 2009; Balawajder, 2010; Miłkowska, 2010; Ciupińska, 2011; Borecka-Biernat, 2012; Kuśpit, 2015). Strategies for destructive coping with a social conflict situation in the form of defensive behaviors are not aimed at solving or overcoming a conflict situation. They do not lead to reaching an agreement, they generate an escalation of unfavorable behaviors and allow a person to reduce unpleasant emotional tension only. A common feature of destructive actions in a social conflict situation is their low effectiveness because they lead to the abandonment of goals due to difficulties. The goal of ‘achieving this and this’ is replaced by the goal of ‘reducing unpleasant emotional tension’ and achieving well-being. This is done, inter alia, by a strategy of avoiding confrontation with a conflict situation which consists in taking up additional activities by an individual to engage the attention and at the same time diverting it from the conflict situation (watching TV, listening to music, overeating, sleeping, playing sports, playing computer games, surfing the Internet).

Constructive coping strategies in social conflict situations include all behaviors aimed at actively influencing and solving the conflict situation as well as overcoming the conflict situation and which are assessed as adaptive. With their help, previous or equivalent goals are achieved, despite emerging difficulties. This includes attempts at introducing changes within the sphere of action by making an effort to communicate with a partner to find a common solution to contentious issues. They assume assertive consideration of the goals and needs of the participants in the dispute, where nothing happens at the expense of the other party and the needs of the participants in the dispute.

Human coping strategies are always analyzed in a specific difficult situation. For adolescents, the school environment is particularly stressful, especially situations of conflict with teachers and schoolmates as well as quarrels with one or both parents and other family members. Therefore, it is worth paying attention to the way young people cope with conflict situations which occur at school, in relationships with peers or at home. The research results so far indicate that adolescents use many different strategies for coping with school problems (Polak, 2010; Sikorski, 2015). Among the coping strategies, which are mentioned by young people in the context of difficult situations at school, we can distinguish attempts at diverting attention from a difficult situation and dealing with something else (surfing on social networking services or being ‘glued’ to the screen of a phone or tablet), for example, escaping from a difficult situation by physically moving away or isolating from it. Adolescents are also characterized by passive waiting and deceiving themselves that time will solve the problem on its own.

The results of the research cited by E. Frydenberg and R. Lewis (1999), G.Miłkowska (2010) showed that in a situation of conflict with peers, young people use a coping strategy, which is based on giving up, taking no action, avoiding a problem and distancing from difficult relationships with others. This means that with-drawing behaviors are connected with the necessity to make concessions and to resign. They reflect the act of leaving a conflict situation by an adolescent. As a result of the conducted research, M. Raffaelli (1990, cited from Collins, Laursen, 1992) found that in descriptions of conflicts with peers, the resolution of disputes included withdrawal in 54% of cases.

Conflicts which occur in child-parent relations constitute a common phenomenon during the period of adolescence (Jaworski, 2000; Gurba, 2020). The data obtained by I. Obuchowska (1990), J. Smetana et al. (1991) and A. Filip (2010) show that the behavior of adolescents in a situation of conflict with their mothers and fathers is characterized by withdrawal and being passive. Adolescents try to avoid family problems or mentally distance themselves from them by looking for contact with other people in non-family structures.

The quoted review of research on methods for coping with a social conflict situation shows that some young people, when faced with a dispute at school, in peer relationships or at home, adopt a destructive strategy in the form of avoiding reaction to a conflict.

A model of the parents’ avoiding method for coping with difficulties

The family is the first model of mutual relations and ways of behavior. It is a rich source of behavior models in various situations. Parents are significant people who play a decisive role in the process of modeling the child’s behavior (Rostowska, 1993; Bandura, 2007). Parents create the basis for shaping basic patterns or models of behavior in children in the social environment. Their impact begins the earliest and lasts the longest. It should be emphasized that in the process of communication between parents and children in terms of how to behave in a specific situation, two periods of a child’s life, i.e. around the age of 6–11 and 12–15 are of particular importance because then the ‘core’ of family characteristics is acquired (Rostowska, 1991). The model of behaviors which parents give to a child in terms of priority and time of impact is most strongly absorbed by a child and his/her behavior.

The family is an environment which creates natural conditions conducive to learning how to respond to difficult situations. The main models of methods of reacting to difficulties and emotional tension are found in the behavior of parents in situations of emotional tension and in their attitude to the difficulties and failures of the child in action (Tyszkowa, 1986; Rostowska, 1997). The daily interpersonal transactions of adult family members constitute the first model of social coexistence for the child. In doing a task together with a parent, a child learns to cope with difficulties by observing the way their parent does it. Thus, a child, by observing parents, learns social behaviors and methods of solving problems.

The research which was conducted by T. Rostowska (1997), D. Borecka-Biernat (2006) confirmed the existence of interdependencies between parents and children in terms of the most and least preferred by parents and children ways of coping with difficult situations. In most of the researched families, there is a complete or partial similarity in the methods of coping with difficult situations, which is a manifestation of inter-generational transmission. The result of following examples of parents are forms of reacting to difficult situations, which are focused on resignation from pursuing one’s own goals due to difficulties in acting and concentrated on withdrawing from a difficult situation.

A failure to fulfill one’s own desires, lack of determination in defending one’s own affairs or withdrawing from contacts with other people and refraining from taking up such forms of activity that would require such contacts is an inertial form of shyness (Tyszkowa, 1986). Modeling plays a significant role in the genesis of shyness in children. Family models have the strongest impact – shy children have shy parents (Bandelow, 2011). Parents who are shy become models of this type of behavior for their children. A child, who observes parents having difficulties in social interactions, especially when they are the object of identification, begins to imitate them. The research by B. Harwas-Napierała (1995) and P. Zimbardo (2011) indicate that a tendency to withdraw and avoid social interactions as well as failures in proper participation in these interactions in adolescents is a learned form of behavior which was acquired during observation and during more frequent contacts with people from the closest environment who display such behavior, i.e. as a result of the influence of models, most often parents.

The results of our considerations show that the family is a place where learning of the avoidance way of reacting to difficult situations which contain an element of threat to the realization of aspirations or achievement of a goal through modeling occurs. In the family, the avoidance behavior, which is presented by a significant person, mainly a parent, is more easily assimilated by an adolescent child who observes him/her, especially when the model is sufficiently attractive and similar, has a reinforcement system, and the effects of his/her activities are approved with-in the family.

Research question and hypothesis

The research was aimed at answering the following research question:

1. What is the relationship between the avoidance strategy used by adolescents in a social conflict situation and the presented model of the avoidance strategy for coping with this situation by their parents (one or both), if any?

The research question which was formulated in this way allowed us to put forward the hypothesis, which would be verified by the analysis of the results of the empirical research:
H1. Contact of adolescent children with the presented model of the avoidance strategy for coping with a social conflict situation by parents (one or both) is conducive to learning the avoidance strategies for coping with a social conflict situation in their adolescent children.

Research method

Subjects and the course of the research

A group of 468 girls and 425 boys aged 13–15 was included in our research. In total, 893 people participated in the research. The respondents were students of the first, second and third grades of junior high schools. A random selection of schools was used, but not all selected schools agreed to conduct the research in them, therefore, in several cases, non-selected schools with which such cooperation was possible were approached. The research was most often carried out during homeroom lessons (meeting with class tutor). The research had a group character and participation was voluntary. Students signed their papers using nicknames or initials. Before starting the research, participants were instructed exactly what to do. The tools for measuring individual variables were discussed, but in a general way in order to avoid responses sensitive to the factor of social approval. The youth had the opportunity to ask questions during the research in the event of incomprehensible or ambiguous questions.

Age was the basic criterion for selecting the surveyed students. The influence of age on the selection of strategies for coping with a social conflict situation was analyzed in the group of students aged 13–15 years (early adolescence sub-period). Adolescence is an important stage in the life of every human being because it is considered a transition point between childhood and adulthood. The period of adolescence is a period of instability in teenagers’ behavior, a period of conflicts with the environment, with themselves and the feeling of incomprehension which often accompanies them (Obuchowska, 2000). It is also referred to as a period of rebellion and stress. Many biological, psychological, mental, motivational and social attitudes changes take place at that time, which make young people often have many problems with adjusting their behavior to new situations, tasks, and social roles (Bee, 2004; Trempała, 2011; Czerwińska-Jasiewicz, 2015; Brzezińska, Apelit, Ziółkowska, 2016). Due to the development of a critical assessment of the surrounding reality and the increased formation of the self-image, the supremacy of the emotional sphere over other areas of mental life, as well as new forms of social contacts and directness in behavior, adolescents aged 13–15 seem to be a good subject of research to learn about the avoidance strategy for coping with a situation of strong emotional tension such as a social conflict.

Research to ols

The following methods were used in the research:
D. Borecka-Biernat’s (2012) Questionnaire concerning strategies for coping with a social conflict situation (KSMK) by youth is intended for studying coping strategies in a social conflict situation undertaken by adolescents. It consists of a description of 33 social conflict situations. For each situation, four behaviors expressing coping with a social conflict situation were given – the first refers to aggressive coping (‘A’), the second to avoidance coping (‘AV’), the third to submissive coping (‘S’), and the fourth to task coping (constructive) with a social conflict situation (‘T’). The task of the researched person, after recalling a situation similar to the one s/he once experienced, or imagining it, is to choose the behavior from among the four ones which would be closest to him/her in a given situation. The results are obtained for each scale separately by summing up the marked behaviors in 33 situations belonging to a given scale. As the scales consist of 33 items, respondents can score from 0 to 33 points in each of them. For the purposes of the author’s own research, the Scale of Avoidant Coping (‘AV’) with a social conflict situation by youth was applied. The questionnaire is characterized by satisfactory reliability in terms of the internal consistency (Cronbach’s alpha). The reliability of the scale of avoidant coping ‘AV’ (.694) is below .70, nevertheless, it can be considered satisfactory for the research purposes. The questionnaire is characterized by a satisfactory level of diagnostic accuracy and the method of answering the questionnaire is not burdened with social approval.

D. Borecka-Biernat’s (2013) Questionnaire on parents’ strategies for coping with a social conflict situation SRwSK consists of two versions, i.e. ‘My mother’ and ‘My father’. It is intended to study parents’ strategies for coping with a social conflict situation, but these behaviors are recognized in the perception of their adolescent children. The tool has descriptions of 16 social conflict situations in the ‘My mother’ version and the same number of descriptions in the ‘My father’ version. For each of the situations, there were four behaviors which expressed parents’ coping with social conflict situations in the perception of their child – the first refers to aggressive coping (‘A’), the second to avoidant coping (‘AV’), the third to submissive coping (‘S’), and the fourth to task-oriented coping with social conflict situations (‘T’). Each of the four possible responses was assigned a numerical value from 0 to 1. The total of points constituted a numerical indicator which showed the degree of intensity of each of these strategies. The higher the numerical value of the indicator, the more the child perceives his/her parents as using a given strategy. For the purposes of the authors’ own research, the Scale of Parents’ Avoidant Coping (‘AV’) with a social conflict situation was applied. The questionnaire is characterized by satisfactory reliability in terms of the internal consistency (Cronbach’s alpha). The reliability of the scale of avoidant coping in parents in situations of social conflict as perceived by children. (‘A’) (M: .66; F: .66) is slightly below .70; it can, however, be considered sufficient for research purposes. The questionnaire has a satisfactory level of diagnostic accuracy.

Analysis of the research results

The goal of the analysis is to verify if the avoidant coping strategy in the mother and father in situations of social conflict as perceived by adolescent children determines the avoidant coping strategy in youth in situations of social conflict. A two-way ANOVA was conducted with the median values divided into high (me>) and low (me ≤).

Table 1 presents the two-way ANOVA of the assessment of dependence of the avoidant coping strategy in youth in situations of social conflict on the avoidant coping strategy in the mother in situations of social conflict, as well as the avoidant coping strategy in the father in situations of social conflict.

The results obtained for the avoidant coping strategy in youth based on the two-way ANOVA do not indicate the existence of significant interaction for the following variables: avoidant strategy of coping with conflict in the mother and avoidant strategy applied by the father in social conflict. A relationship can be observed, however, between the avoidant coping strategy in youth in situations of social conflict and the avoidant coping strategy in the mother in situations of social conflict. It does appear that a high value of the avoidant coping strategy in the mother in situations of social conflict causes an increase of the level of the avoidant coping strategy in youth in situations of social conflict. The value of the avoidant coping strategy in the father does not, on its own, directly impact the level of the avoidant coping strategy in youth in situations of social conflict. On the basis of the obtained results, it can be concluded that young people who display a high level of avoidance in situations of social conflict – regardless of whether they have fathers who apply the avoidant strategy in social conflict – have mothers who choose the avoidant coping strategy in situations of social conflict.

Table 1. Two-way analysis of interaction between the avoidant coping strategy in the mother (AV M) in situations of social conflict and the avoidant coping strategy in the father (AV F) in situations of social conflict, and the avoidant coping strategy in youth in situations of social conflict (AV O)

The highest mean value for avoidant strategy applied by youth in situations of social conflict cooccurs with the high level of the avoidant coping strategy in the mother in situations of social conflict, as well as with a high level of the avoidant coping strategy in the father in situations of social conflict.

Table 2 presents the two-way ANOVA assessing the relationship between the avoidant coping strategy in girls in situations of social conflict and the avoidant coping strategy in the mother and the father in situations of social conflict.

The two-way ANOVA for the avoidant coping strategy in girls in situations of conflict, in comparison with the level of the avoidant coping strategy in the mother and the father in situations of social conflict indicates lack of statistically significant interaction between the variables. Simultaneously, a relationship is revealed between the avoidant coping strategy in girls in situations of social conflict and the avoidant coping strategy in the mother in situations of social conflict. The result suggests that a high value of the avoidant coping strategy in the mother in situations of social conflict causes an increase in the level of the avoidant coping strategy in girls in situations of social conflict. The value of the avoidant coping strategy in the father does not directly influence the level of the avoidant coping strategy in girls in situations of social conflict. On the basis of the analysis of the collected research data, it can be concluded that girls who display a high level of the avoidant coping strategy in situations of social conflict – regardless of whether their father applies the avoidant strategy in situations of social conflict – have a mother who does choose the avoidant coping strategy in situations of social conflict. The highest mean value for the avoidant coping strategy applied by girls in situations of social conflict cooccurs, however, with a high level of the avoidant coping strategy in the mother in situations of social conflict and a high level of the avoidant coping strategy in the father in situations of social conflict.

Table 2. Two-way analysis of the interaction between the avoidant coping strategy in the mother (AV M) in situations of social conflict and the avoidant coping strategy in the father (AV F) in situations of social conflict, and the avoidant coping strategy in girls in situations of social conflict (AV G)

A further analysis of the results was focused on the assessment of how the coefficients connected with the avoidant coping strategy in boys in situations of social conflict depend on the avoidant coping strategy in their mothers and fathers in situations of social conflict (cf. Table 3).

A two-way ANOVA for the avoidant coping strategy in boys in situations of social conflict in the context of the following variables: the avoidant coping strategy in the mother and the avoidant coping strategy in the father in situations of social conflict did not reveal a statistical interaction between the variables. The dependency is visible, however, between the avoidant coping strategy in the mother in situations of social conflict and the avoidant coping strategy in boys in situations of social conflict. It appears that a high value in the avoidant coping strategy in the mother in situations of social conflict causes an increase in the avoidant coping strategy in boys in situations of social conflict. The value of the avoidant coping strategy in the father does not, however, directly impact the level of the avoidant coping strategy in boys in situations of social conflict. On the basis of the obtained results, the conclusion can be drawn that boys who display a high level of the avoidant doping strategy in situations of social conflict – regardless of whether or not the father applies the avoidant strategy in situations of social conflict – have mothers who does apply the avoidant strategy in situations of social conflict. The highest mean value of the avoidant coping strategy in boys in situations of social conflict co-occurs with a high level of the avoidant coping strategy in the mother in situations of social conflict and a high level of the avoidant coping strategy in the father in situations of social conflict.

Table 3. Two-way analysis of interaction between the avoidant coping strategy in the mother in situations of social conflict (A M) and the avoidant coping strategy in the father (A F) in situations of social conflict, and the avoidant coping strategy in boys in situations of social conflict (A B)

To sum up, the obtained results do not indicate the existence of interactions for the variables: the mother’s avoidant way of coping with a social conflict situation and the avoidant form for coping with a social conflict situation by the father, and the avoidant strategy for coping with a social conflict situation by adolescents (girls and/or boys). At the same time, there is a correlation between the avoidant strategy for coping with a social conflict situation by youth (girls and/or boys) and the mother’s avoidant strategy for coping with a social conflict situation, while the very value of the father’s avoidant strategy for coping with a social conflict situation does not directly affect the level of the avoidant strategy for coping with a social conflict situation by youth (girls and/or boys). The obtained result allows us to conclude that a high level of the mother’s avoidant strategy for coping with a social conflict situation, regardless of the fact whether fathers cope with a social conflict situation or not, increases the value of avoidant strategies for coping with a social conflict situation by adolescents (girls and/or boys). The average result for the avoidant strategy for coping with a social conflict situation by adolescents (girls and/or boys) is the highest when there is a high level of the mother’s avoidant strategy for coping with a social conflict situation and a high level of father’s avoidant strategy for coping with a social conflict situation. The presented research results confirmed hypothesis H1.

Summary of the research results

The behavior of parents towards each other in various situations, especially during conflicts, is the subject of careful observation and then imitation on the part of their child (Tyszkowa, 1986; Rostowska, 1997; Liberska, 2002; Bandura, 2007). A child learns how to solve conflicts by observing his/her parents. In the course of data analysis, it was found that a mother who uses a strategy based on avoiding social interactions in difficult situations contributes to the modeling of a strategy consisting in avoidance behavior which is used in a social conflict situation by her daughter and son. The mother provides her adolescent child with unique models of responding to a social conflict. A child learns these models by observing his/her mother’s behavior under conditions of threat to the realization of her own aspirations. It is worth noticing that in order to intensify the avoidant coping strategy by adolescents in a situation of divergent aspirations, the father’s avoidant strategy for coping with a social conflict situation has no meaning at all. Thus, the avoidant coping strategy used by girls and boys in a social conflict situation is shaped by the influence of the mother, who is the model of such a strategy. We cannot fail to notice that there is a preference for influences which are conducive to the avoidant coping strategies among adolescent boys by a parent of the opposite sex. This proves that the avoidant strategy for coping with a social conflict situation by a boy is mainly influenced by personal characteristics of a parent with whom a child identifies, and not by the fact that the gender of the model and the person identifying with him/her are the same (Rychlak, Legerski, 1967). It is also worth paying attention to the fact that in the conditions of modeling in a natural situation, an important role is played by the model’s feature which facilitates identification with him/her, i.e. gender. Therefore, in the case of girls, it is the mother who influences the development of an avoidant strategy for coping with a social conflict situation. It is girls who identify themselves with their mothers in a particular way and duplicate their models of behavior. On the basis of these results, it can be concluded that the effects of imitating mothers are manifested in the forms of reactions to social conflict situations used by girls and boys, which are focused on withdrawing from a conflict and resigning from pursuing a given aspiration due to difficulties in action. This would indicate that the withdrawal of a young person from a social conflict situation is a learned form of behavior, which results from observation and frequent contact with the mother displaying this kind of behavior, i.e. as a result of the influence of the mother acting as a model to follow. These views are confirmed by the results of studies which were carried out by B. Harwas-Napierała (1995), D.Borecka-Biernat (2006), B. Bandelow (2011) and P. Zimbardo (2011).Summing up, the conducted research revealed the fact that the avoidant way of coping with social conflict situations by adolescents is socially determined, and one of its sources is the influence of the parent (model) who is also characterized by the avoidant strategy for coping with social conflict situations. It should be assumed that the family home teaches a young human being the avoidant form for coping with a social conflict situation.

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